Friday, August 25, 2006

I'm So Tired I Could Cry!

This was our first full week of school, and I feel like I am operating on auto-pilot. I can't believe that I have to do this for 35 more weeks and be okay with it! School is fine; the kids seem immature, and are very talkative, but it's always so hard to adjust to the new group of fifth-graders. By the time they leave me in May, they can open lockers, bring the right books to class, and copy vocabulary like professionals. Come October, things will run much more smoothly.

I just feel like I have so much on my plate right now, and I don't know how to fix it. I have so much paperwork to do for school, and haven't even started grading anything yet. I need to produce something for Tuesday folders next week, but I don't know when I will have time to deal with it. We have so many meetings and trainings during our free time at school, it leaves very little time for planning and grading.

Besides school, I'm stressed about the sorority. I am currently the secretary of my alumnae chapter, and we meet monthly during the school year. I was president last year, and took care of letting people know when the meetings were, and most of the planning. We changed officers in May, and the new president has yet to send out anything to the entire chapter. I haven't heard from her since May, and our first meeting for this fall is supposed to be in less than two weeks. The officers haven't gotten together to plan anything, and we have to raise lots of money in the next few months to be able to send a delegate to Convention next June. My duties as secretary are to keep a membership list and the meetings, do a calendar, and mail out newsletters to people. I am trying hard not to step in and decide everything, since that's not my job anymore. I'm really not enjoying it right now, and would really like to step back, but I don't know how to. Our chapter is only two years old, and we have about twelve members. We meet monthly at different women's houses, and we do a couple of philanthropic things a year. It's kind of a pain to go to the meetings, for Darren to get home in time for me to leave, then I drive at least 30 minutes, and we sit around for at least an hour before we start talking about the business. I get home late, and am exhausted the next day. I just don't know if I want to do it anymore, and I feel really bad about it.

In addition to the sorority, I've somehow managed to hang onto my Creative Memories business. I really like getting the new products each month, and getting a discount, but it's something else for me to stress about. I feel like I have exhausted everyone I know who is willing to host a show, and I don't know how I will meet new people. My monthly crop nights are a lot of work, and I don't usually have a good attendance. I think it would be cheaper for me just to be a customer again, and buy what I want. At least I'd get to scrapbook again!

What else is bugging me? Darren has started riding his bike after work on Tuesday nights. I don't begrudge him wanting to go and do something fun, but Tuesdays are really hard for me. Zach and I come home around 4:45, and we are alone until 9:00. Zach doesn't listen to me as well as Darren, and he and I usually end up getting in a fight, and by the time Darren gets home, we are both angry. I know that I go and do things alone sometimes, ( and occasionally they are not meetings), but that's after I have Zach for two or more hours, and he goes to bed while I'm gone. It's just hard after a long day at school to entertain Zach alone.

Zach started gymnastics yesterday, and we'll have that every Thursday evening. I pick him up from his after-school program, we get about 15 minutes at home, I rush him out the door, and we fight traffic to get to the gym on time. He didn't want to participate in the warm-up yesterday, and is the only boy in his class. I don't know how long this will last; he's been in gymnastics for a year, but has always had a friend in his class. Plus, he's tired after being in school all day.

So, tomorrow is Zach's birthday party. I don't recommend having a child the second week of school, and having to plan a party. We are doing it at a place this year that does everything, so that is nice. However, we have company coming in to stay with us this weekend, which is fine, but I was up late cleaning the house last night, and since they will be here all weekend, that leaves me almost no time to get schoolwork done. Maybe my 13-year-old niece will want to grade papers?

Okay, time to tackle the mess that I made in the kitchen. That was cathartic. Thanks to the two of you for listening, if you haven't stabbed yourself with a butter knife by now.

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